School of Vagina Wizardry.

Well, howdy do.

I’ve come back from overseas. That’s right, I went somewhere other than to my fridge! I know, I’m as impressed as you are.

A little magic can take you a long way.” – James and the Giant Peach

So I went to Thailand recently and the place is flipping beautiful. Whilst basking in this countries glory, I couldn’t help but notice some pretty messed up things. And so, I’m going to write about it before it escapes my brain.

In school, we were forced to study religion (fact) and because of this, my parents chose Buddhism for us to study, which I’m actually reasonably thankful for. Because although I’m agnostic (not because I can’t choose a religion or lack respect for religion or culture, I just don’t want to choose and don’t have enough information), Buddhism is definitely a religion I’m most fond of.  So whilst in Thailand I visited temples, I really embraced their culture whilst trying not to culturally appropriate as much as possible. And let me tell you, I’m disappointed. Not in Thailand, but in the white washed westernization crap we learnt in school. If you’re going to teach kids about a religion and therefore a culture, don’t westernize it. Thailand, you didn’t let me down. Australia, you have. I also noticed that for me, being agnostic, I’ve never ever questioned whether or not there’s a devil or Satan or an evil. But I’ve always questioned whether or not there’s a God/dess. Is that weird?

We also went and did an “elephant care” tour. The more I think about.. I don’t know.. I just feel so bad for those elephants. The experience itself was magical. We gave them a mud bath, fed them and washed them in a fresh spring. But then there came time when at the end.. they had the elephants perform tricks. Which crushed the whole “tour”.  And made me think, “what happens when we aren’t here?”. The company that ran this tour also did elephant trekking (google it) which I’m against and wish I’d known prior to booking (kids, always investigate prior to booking anything.) It was so contradictory to have this one experience where you’re caring for elephants and then have the other end of the scale of mistreatment.

I also got a massage every day. There was a sign that said “NO SEX” so I knew I was in good hands. Which is pretty messed up. I also got pretty worried at whether or not those people wanted to be there. It’s actually a little bit scary to think about it.

We did in fact go to a “ping pong” show. Let me tell you. It was actual sorcery. I don’t know HOW they did the things they did. There were obviously ping-pong balls involved, but also animals (those poor creatures). Like, I’m talking fish, birds and a gerbil (or hamster or Ginny pig). I’m not going to talk about everything that I saw. But I will mention one that BLEW MY MIND. A girl, dancing around while holding two glass coke bottles. One full of water, the other was completely empty. She got down on the floor and opened her legs and “drank” -if you will- the water… She then got up and danced and pretended to spray the water out (she didn’t, don’t worry she was only behind a prankster). She then got back on the floor, opened her legs once again and held the empty coke bottle to her vagina. And I kid you not… what looked like coke(or wine because it’s probably more of a water into wine type thing), came out. I just… Woah.  I know, sorcery. Obviously intoxicated, I assumed they went to a Hogwarts School of Vagina Wizardry… Now I just am more concerned about how they got there. Again, it made me think that although there was a level of entertainment, it made me quite worried about these peoples’ wellbeing.

So what do you think? Religion, elephants and ping-pong shows. Let me know, have you done/seen similar things? Or just let me know your opinion.

Oh, ps. I’ve never sweat so much in my life.

Something not many, if any know about me:

I constantly think about my face, Like what is it doing right now..? Does it look weird? It feels weird. Is my eye twitching? What’s my mouth doing? It’s the weirdest thing to think about and I often find my mouth wide open completely dumb founded. All the time. The stupid face.

lon x


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